Okay this picture (up here) has / tells it all. This is what i've been feeling lately. No! Not lately.. I've since last year and kept it so long yet i didn't get to express it. Not when it doesn't reached it's limit. So not.. 

Actually, the thing is.. ermm should I do this? :( If I do, those people who i'm referring to might read this. I don't want to broke any one's heart. Truly. I'm bad at expressing myself. So bad that it hurts me. Deeply. Inside. Hard to cure. Impossible to handle. Confused feelings. Ugh !

Recently, I kept online on my laptop especially on Twitter. Facebook no more because i've deactivate it. Trying to 'resist' the virtual world. Yeah right *smirking face* And what's with the Twitter? It's a virtual world too right? Yeah but it's the only place where I can contact my friends especially them from Miri. THAT'S THE ONLY FREE PATH TO GET TO THEM! I know we have texts but it needs money and I don't like using it. AND my phone sucks! It's a touch-screen without any qwertyuiops. Gosh what a miserable thing to have to live with. 

Okay, in my deepest SINCEREST heart can be.. I don't like the way you guys treated me. As if *pointing at the picture*. Yes I'm no fun (thank you very much). I'm not as smart as pretty you guys are. Aren't friendly enough and opened enough. Yeah that's fine. That's me! But seriously, do you all have to treat me as if you're trying to ignore me? If it's a yes. OKAY. I have no rights to say so. Okay..

Most contra person who did this to me is ___. 

Sorry. I don't like you.

DON'T ASK ME WHO IT IS! ==

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Yeay! I'm dying inside! YEAY!

Let me just die peacefully. PLEASE! No painful feelings. No need to be harsh. PLEASE!

You only treat me as if when the atmosphere was kind of okay. Like okay.. for you. Not for me at that time. Yet you managed to put me through it. But when I was having my comfort, okay, you ignore. You ruined it. Crushed, crashed, burned, ashes! WTH?! Nothing there is left for me to 'upgrade' my emotions again. 

It happened might be because of my 'natural' expression. I have a bad face+smile. A face for not you all want to see. Even when teachers around. I found out they ignored me like everybody else did. The one who didn't ignore me as much was those friendly strangers who I know-somehow-but-never-met and of course, my family :') They never disappoint like you guys did. Well sometimes but not as frequent as might all of you did D':

I'm wounded. Dreadfully. I need a help! Majorly! But it's hard for me to face those who want to help. I have these terror feelings that might end up, me crying. I don't want those. Or probably. Because it helped a lot. Like I did before, crying over, hating myself. Missing some one badly! I can't face my feelings like you guys did. I just can't. It's HARD! Not an ease to be solved. Even homework doesn't help! Gosh..

Please...

Lend me your shoulder, close your eyes, unplugged your ears.. 

Listen to me..

Listen to my complains..

My unidentified feelings..

And again..

Complains..

That's all. I'm finish. 

-not really!!-

What so ever, i'm so deeply sorry if you might think yourselves in this situation. 

PS; ignore me as much as possible. Like you'd use too. TQ I'm pathetic!

Assalamualaikum and good night.